Feeling lonely and unloved? Afraid no one but your own appendages will ever touch your nether regions again? Well, fear not, because according to a group of medical professionals known to TV viewing audiences as The Doctors, although you may not find your significant other, at least you can find clearer nasal passages by pleasuring yourself.
And of course, this being the age of reality TV and social media, where the only thing to be ashamed about is not having good lighting, The Doctors found a man willing to masturbate for this purpose and then come on their show to share the whole single-handed experience with the studio audience.
Skyler, as the man identified himself, swears that self-satisfaction has cleared his nose. And now The Doctors are backing up his claims, saying that orgasmic muscles can actually relieve sinus pressure temporarily. Of course, we already know all the other benefits of climaxing, which range from a healthier immune system to better sleeping patterns.
Which brings us back to our jacked-off show model, Skylar. He claims he self-pleasures to help him sleep, and that masturbating actually helps him breathe to better accomplish this goal.
How does it work, you ask? Well, apparently even the inside of your nose contracts during an orgasm, giving momentary relief for the oxygen-deprived among us. Urologist Aaron Spitz, M.D., one of the TV docs, verifies that this is a medical fact.
Finally, a legitimate excuse to watch porn, even if you’re married. Right at the tip of your…nose.
But wait, does this work equally well for women who have allergies and nasal congestion? Dr. Spitz insists it does, although connecting adrenaline to semen secretion to the blood vessels in your nose doesn’t seem very encompassing for his female audience members. At least for the guys, though, temporarily squeezing those blood vessels shut, nasal discharge also stops for a few moments, allowing them to breathe more productively.
Lest you think Dr. Spitz was doing this segment as a service to mankind: nope. He has a book to promote, of course, and to no one’s surprise, it is called ”The Penis Book.”
Certainly a lot sexier than “Pee Your Way to Happiness,” or something like that, considering he’s a urologist.
By the way, you don’t have to be a sole practitioner to benefit from orgasms, Dr. Spitz assures us. In fact, if you do have a significant other and have sex at least three times a week, you might even reduce your risk of coronary artery disease and stroke.
So stroke away, it’s all in the name of good health!
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